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Sunday, January 13, 2013

thank you Allah

salam.. and happy sunday everybodeh!
well, the only bad thing about sunday is that knowing that tomorow is gonna be Monday. =.='

you know how a woman can be about shopping right?
going all nuts and ecstatic. woahh joy.
for the last Year End Sale. i dont get to enjoy it much. instead i spend the whole YES feeling depressed.
because.. no money no talk. or shud i correct it? no money no shopping.
not just that, my purse ended up stolen. but in return i get new pair of clothes. still not that worth it.

now that i have my scholarship.
i'm planning to buy this new mini thing. after i sum up all my need and this new thing. i didnt get to shop my heart out this sem as well. so, no new clothes, bag n shoe for me.
again, i ended up feeling depressed. again.
until, i read this.. quoted by my friend,
"instead of saying 'untung la' better we replaced it to 'aku bersyukur'"-QA
say ALHAMDULILLAH. maybe i dont get to shop. but, i get to ease the burden of my parents. if it get to lower my dad blood pressure by mean lowering the risk of other illnesses. than i shud say ALHAMDULILLAH. it is a sacrifice that i have to make. well, gonna be 22 this year..

uuuuuuuuuu am so matured. arent i???

Thank you ALLAH.


Saturday, January 12, 2013

stone hard heart

when people change have you wonder why?
well i believe everything happen for a reason.
maybe its not you maybe its someone or something else.
sometimes you just have to stay calm and shut the hell up.
as for me, i love my heart.. not the pumping heart. the hey-give-you-emotion heart.
i'll do what ever it takes for it not to break.
i hate people leaves... so sometime i never let them enter
i hate saying goodbye... so sometime i didnt even care to say hi
i hate arguement... so sometime i say sorry more than i shud.
its simple. just by doing that i feel that my heart is secure.

people bailed on me...
i acted like i dont give a damn about it.
i smiled
i laughed
i joke around
the pain is there.
but people dont have to know.
its not just time that heal the wound. its the SILENT
well... at least i think it heals. like covering it up with plaster of paris.

when we agree to do things together..
and the other part stops as she didnt need me anymore
it hurts...
but what can i say...
i'm getting used to it
the i-dont-need-you-nymore thingy.
it happens often. even after promises.
what can i tell you?
the thing call promise
is not that pinky anymore
do i cry? NO!
i dont... i do a poker face and act as it is fine.

i hate losing a friend
so ifsometime i'm.. i'll kept quite.
more silence, more plaster of paris...
the more plaster of paris
from different time and places
it stuck
soon the thing you  call heart will only become a 
stone-hard heart
 everything happen for a reason
maybe  i changed but i'm me.
i can laugh like there's tomorow
trust me, it is from the heart
most of it.
hey, its still me.

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